I'm an easily irritated person when I go to restaurants. I expect a minimum level of competency and service for my dollar. All too often, I'm left disappointed, even with my relatively low expectations. Here is a list of a few things that just plain chap my ass when I go out to eat.
1)Choice of salad dressings - hey there Chef, it's your dish - finish it. Don't leave it to me to find the proper accompaniment. That's just plain lazy and/or outdated.
2)Dressing on the side - A salad is meant to be dressed. Ideally, the lettuce should be oiled to protect it, then seasoned, then flavored with acid and any other elements. You have bowls and tongs in your kitchen - I have too much crap piled into a too small serving vessel and a fork. Who's in a better position to toss it, me or you? Again, just plain lazy.
3)Saving my fork - When you clear my plate between courses, do not drop my fork on the filthy-ass table. Proper service would dictate that you bring a clean fork to replace the one that you just took if I don't have a clean one already set for me.
4)"Enjoy" - All servers are hereby allocated 4 "enjoy"'s per shift. Use them wisely.
5)Don't talk down to me when explaining dishes or wines - There's a really good chance that this writer knows more about the subject that you're condescending to me about than you ever will. Food is my life, you're just doing this while you finish school.
6)May I join you? - Please feel free to not sit down at my table while telling me about the specials. It's called personal space.
7)Hello, my name is..... - I don't care. This is a business transaction here. If I want to take this to a personal level, I'll tell you my name and then ask yours, as ettiquete dictates.
8)Touching - somewhere on the west coast back in the 90's someone came to the conclusion that touching a client on the arm makes a more solid connection between them and the client. It doesn't. See #7.
Most folks do a top 10. As I said, my expectations are low, I only have 8. What are yours?
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2 comments:
Sugar caddies on a table at a restaurant where the cheapset entree on the menu is $13.
Have some class.
Don't try to get a bigger tip by pretending to like my kids. They smell phony a mile away. DON'T TOUCH MY CHILDREN. Don't tickle them, don't pinch their cheeks. Don't bribe them with chocolate.
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